The Devils Dandruff

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Cocaine Misuse

''Hello There''

I thought i would blog this evening and talk about my latest attempt to get off ''The Devils Dandruff".

I took it upon myself in the middle of December to have a proper crack at getting clean. I am now on a Cocaine misuse programme, having being referred by my GP. I have finally realised that i actually do want to stop using. The difference this time to previous attempts over the years, is because i say so and it was my decision and nobody elses, and i felt ready to do so.

Anybody can try and help or advise you but you have to be ready to do it because you want to not because other people say so.

From what i gather so far the programme i am on is aimed at firstly reducing your cocaine use. That has so far worked well, the last few times i have gone on a mad one all i have done is one gram. This is true but i didn't even know what a G really looked like as i had been used to bulk buying ! I find the concept of the programme interesting and enjoy reading my weekly handouts when i get home.

Today's topic of conversation was, she asked me to tell her what i really loved about doing cocaine. She sat there and said for me to be totally honest ! The first thing that i said was, ''I LOVE THE SEX'' she went on to say ''as in what way'' ? We talked about cravings last week and triggers the week before. i just sat there, how on earth could i even begin to start telling her how fucking much i love rapping up a sesh and going to bed, and then fucking myself senseless, whilst watching a good prod movie and totally wilding out Ha !!

She got the short version !! she even asked if coke made me feel liberated ! I told her it did but i didn't need to do coke to make me feel like that.

I'll keep ya posted on how its going but I'm wrecked at the moment ! no shit, i can only do half a g these days without feeling clattered ! This is the first relapse in two weeks so i know the programme is working.

If i fail my drug test on Thursday, which by the way is random testing so it is possible, it will have been worth it just for the filthy frigging session i am about to go and have !! HA nite nite kisses xxx

roxyfoxy @ 3:08 am

Comments:

good on ya, mate

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:45 pm

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