The Devils Dandruff

Saturday, October 31, 2009

''Dream On Dreamer''

As i awoke once more in the early hours of this morning,wondering once again why i keep having this same reoccurring nightmare.

It has suddenly dawned on me why this keeps coming back to me. I have only really analyzed it recently and i can't believe how traumatic a situation i endured.

Break it down i was 20 years of age living in my first flat and don't get it twisted i was in a crummy council maisonette mixing with scumbags.

Sat alone on the sofa when all of a sudden the door was being kicked in by two girls and a male associate of theirs. They kicked shit out of me one by one all three of them at once. She was the guy i was seeings ex that he dumped for me.

I don't remember too much detail but i remember waking up the next morning and looking at my reflection.

I was totally horrified i was swollen with black eyes bust up lips.

Moving along i never got over that i nearly threw myself off the fourth floor balcony not long after. I remember hearing the same kind of knocking which happened on that fateful night. I was terrified i was shaking like crazy i ran out of the second bedroom balcony as i remember thinking it was the only place i could hide.

I lay in the foetus position fearing for my life. I heard the bedroom door open and was just about to jump when all of a sudden my best friend Jayne put her hand on my shoulder.

I dream all the time about that whole messed up situation.

Moving along i read a very interesting statement just this week. It's a statement from a crack addicts mother her story. she said that from the time an addict becomes addicted they stay at that same age !!

MM interesting !

roxyfoxy @ 11:36 pm < 0 comments

Trick or Treat !!

roxyfoxy @ 11:35 pm < 0 comments

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Where the streets have no name ?

I am bugging out for real ! My head is hurting me through what the man who has stole my heart is putting me through.

Everything isn't good in fact its reading like the movie script that my own mother had mentioned days before.

For whatever reason which i cant even get my head around the man has ended up on the streets.

How the hell has this happened. I have cried my eyes out that i have to hear his auntie say he has been seen on the corner of eight avenue not looking the way he is supposed to be looking.

I am sat here wondering how a man of that calibre and don't get it twisted. I am saying this is my man so hes no hood rat. An intelligent man who had a vision is now a homeless black man on the streets of NYC.

It don't make no sense what so ever. Wheres the fucking payout yeah the 500 thousand dollars ! there is no money that's a wrap !

roxyfoxy @ 6:01 am < 1 comments

Friday, October 02, 2009

I just want to be successful

Whats Good ? I'm surviving, still living everyday like a story that never has a happy ending.

My day began around 11am about to start taking calls in response to my advert which i had placed in the local rag !

I have entertained four clients today starting with a proper hottie which i opened my front door too at around 2.15 pm.

The phone did not ring once Ali afternoon not even the usual stream of time wasters !

I made some dinner around 6.30pm which i sat alone to eat once again. I was just about to lay on my sofa and read my papers when the phone starting ringing.

I arranged to see another client who agreed to be here for 7.15pm. As soon as he lay on the bed he said would you like a line of charlie ? i looked at him and said why not "rack um up" his gak was the best i had had for ages.

He was okay but his sex game was not up too my standards. He then suggested that we get another lot of chisel dropped and i went along with him. Whilst we were tapping our hands waiting for the dealer to come

I tried to get freaky with him. His dick was shrinking right before my eyes ! I suggested that he should buy a Viagra from me. He declined saying he wouldn't be needing any help.

Thinking back I should have crushed one in his can of Pepsi then maybe i would have got laid properly.

The sniff landed he order a quarter, his lines were humongous ! every time he lay back down on the bed he tried to convince me how dirty and up for it when he does coke.

Well i beg to differ ! let me tell you something, the man was a turn off i couldn't even cum just for the sake of cumming ! He then arranged to get another two grams dropped off, which was through one of my connections.

I felt a bit embarrassed when he started examining the bags which i had just dropped into his sweaty waiting hands. My stuff wasn't anything like what he had been getting but i don't think he noticed as by this point we were now chopping up our sixth gram.

I was that wired that i started to get paranoid that he wasn't enjoying me. Every time he did a line i knew what was coming next. Yes ! back at his dick once more.

I just wanted to tell him to knock it on the head Ha just give it up its not going to happen.

I decided to be a bit diplomatic for once and promised him a proper good time if he booked me to come to hotel next time.

He then arranged one final time to get more gear dropped off but he then tried his luck by asking if we could have a three sum with his pal who would be here in the next 10 Min's.

Hell no ! i wasn't up for it one bit, and i knew it was not going to be good due to his impotence for the previous three hours of the time we had just spent trying to revive the drowning rat !

He left me a few lines as a token of good gesture, which i thought was a very cool thing for him to have done.

I was very happy that i could now enjoy being high on my own. I am sat here typing on my sofa whilst smoking a skunk spliff.

Moving on. My mood sadly is very low at the moment i don't feel happy one bit. I feel so bloody lonely and depressed i feel unloved and uncared for. I guess that people are not feeling my energy and don't want to be around me. I don't feel like i am the nice pleasant person i was once before.

It all revolves around the fact that i now spend my whole life being ruled my a piece of what others may see as technology. All i see when i look at my cell phone is an existence that dictates my whole life. It has become a misery that, all i do 24/7 is take calls from people i don't even want to speak too. I guess they sense my vibes which at times is not pleasant, and i know for a fact that i loose loads of business through my bad attitude.

I have lost the go get it motto i once had for this industry, i no longer see the vision that i used to see. The one that i would crack all of this or beat the industry and become successful and be able to see the whole picture the reasons the answers that i would tell me why i got involved for what ? i have given part or even most of my life to an industry that has fucked me up.

roxyfoxy @ 11:41 pm < 0 comments

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Cocaine, Champayne, Sex, Money and bullshit. Forget Belle De Jour, Bridget Jones who's she !! this is the real deal enjoy xx

: Name: roxyfoxy; Location: United Kingdom

Where the hell do i start ! Well i give a mint blow job !! For now ill just say ive been on a bender for the last 10 years i work in the adult industry and i live a mad life.

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