The Devils Dandruff

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Help The Aged

Wow, what a night ! i took a call, from whats becoming a regular booty call on the regular each week. ($$$$$$$$$$) :)

It was around 11pm last night when i got the call from Ian, i was at the time fake tanning, preening myself and more than likely busy doing fuck all !!

He made out i had to get there ASAP which wasn't a problem as i was ready to role as soon as i got dressed and put some makeup on. I put on the easiest choice of clothes which was a very OTT leopard print dress which at the time was a great choice. But it turned out not to be the greatest choice when you are still wearing it the next morning standing out like a sore thumb on tescos forecourt amongst the Saturday shoppers whilst getting fags and fuel !!

In fact, if you had looked at me you would have known i had had, a good night HA

Anyway, getting to the point, i arrived at his apartment having drove like a mad bitch. The only hurry he was in was to get my ass through the door and shove loads of gear up my hooter !

He was totally fucking spangled off his fuckin pod ! I get on with him we have good conversation but fuck me talk about beating around the bush ! ask him a question he turns it into a never ending story "Just get too the point"

So he paid me for one hour as per usual, and just for the record Ian must have been thinking that this hour he has paid me for, entitles him to a whole fucking night of my time.

I got up to go as by this point i really was exhausted by the fact that this man was totally in denial regarding his coke cock. This has to be the most severe case i have ever had to deal with it was desperate and i was having none of his piffle. "Please Kate five minutes you wait and see I'll be able to cum, "This time i promise I'm nearly there yadda yadda nearly there, yeah right ! that cock ain't going nowhere until at least Tuesday at the earliest ! he was sweating all over me, yuk ! at the same time trying to shove my pussy, with this drowned rat thing hanging in between his legs complete with a banana flavoured rubber hanging off it !

by this point i really had, had enough bearing in mind I've had no dick still ! and my pussy has had quite enough of being slapped by a stretched piece of latex and quite frankly i was not impressed. I told him "no cock no pussy"

All he had to do was get it hard it's not a big job ! i said shut the fuck up and concentrate never mind anything else ! I got up to go in the lounge i said OK the deal is if you can come in five minutes then put your poke where your mouth is fifty quid that you can't ! his next words where OK fifty quid but give me ten minutes i said see you just proved that you are chatting shit. He said ten minutes fifty quid i said no, five minutes fifty quid, you want ten minutes then it goes up too a ton.

He couldn't back it up !! so the next thing hes like right ill pay you for another hour. I was back on the grind again and accepted his offer i don't mind doing it if Ive been paid to do it but I'm not going to sit there and do it for free hell no.

So here we go again back to the bedroom which isn't actually his bedroom its the master suite of his friends that he lodges with. I don't think i would be very happy if i found out that roger the lodger had took it upon himself to use my bedroom. My question was are you fucking her or what he's like nope i said so what the fuck are we doing on her bed. I don't think that me and her have a lot in common i said wheres her dildos look in the drawer she must have one. The best he could come up with was her fucking hairbrush ! Ha not only have i used her bed been fucked with her hairbrush, then made him find me a hair bobble to tie my hair up with so i could take a shower in HER shower he came back with one of her black thongs as she had no bobbles !

Anyway i end up once again back on his sofa ready to go ! next thing the Cheque book comes flying back out, you no the story back in the bedroom. Having made him sign on the dotted line !

This man is still totally trying to convince me that he's gonna give it to me !

Now are you ready for what happened next ? i can't remember who calculated the next move must have been me ! no surprise there but as he wasn't ever going to manage to satisfy me i suggested we call a hooker up to come and fuck us. So i found the local paper and started from the best girls having clocked right at the bottom "Mature Suzy" which i had no intentions of trying to call her. Well its like 6am in the morning and all of a sudden the only person who takes the call is "Mature Suzy" So i called her pretending we are husband and wife she quoted a price which i couldn't believe was more than what I charge !!!

I didn't like her one bit from the start she was nothing like the way i do business with in fact i had to ask her if she was actually real as i did really think i was listening too her answering machine. I said how big are your tits "34B" OH ! she was as rude as fuck and was a turn off. But i said to Ian if shes ugly we just make sure shes bent over so we don't have to look at her. So the deal was sealed i said look just call her up once more all i wanted to no was that is she going to give us what we want ??

In other words yes or no are you going to be on some bullshit or are you gagging for it as much as we want you to be so next thing we are at the cashpoint then Ian decides to move the goalposts he came out with we go 50/50 all of a sudden i thought if you think i am giving a penny of my hard earned dollars to some fucking pensioner you must be crazy I'm like listen Ian my man would go crazy if i paid for pussy and i knew that she would hardly be value for money !! so that was it i said get on the phone tell her your wife's kicked off and got jealous. So basically it was one of them so near yet so far ! Can you believe how crazy i am !!!!!!

It was all funny at the same time and the more i kept thinking about her the more she was implanted in my mind i said just think babes at least she wouldn't have drank all our champagne she would have bought her flask "Mature" i bet she wasn't a day under 60 !!

Well i am now sat here contemplating whether to go back to Ian's as he is still wanking like a bastard !! BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE MWAH

roxyfoxy @ 5:39 pm

Comments:

He sounds so boring. why the hell could he not get an erection?

# posted by

Sexy Sadie : 5:34 pm

He's OK ! its called coke cock my love !! i went back the next night to finish him off he came in like 10 seconds !!

# posted by

roxyfoxy : 6:15 pm

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